I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
