I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel great
I just peed on a car
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He shit in the fireplace
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
