um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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