Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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