omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
