I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Someone came in the potted fern
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
