Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
