i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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