Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
