I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
