New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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