you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
