At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
