in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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