my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i think i just lost a toe
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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