Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
