this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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