yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
