i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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