I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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