Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
