3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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