I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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