You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
