I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
