You're a womanizer and a bitch.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
