okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
