I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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