Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table

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(248): View more from Michigan

my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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(347): View more from New York

when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign

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(757): View more from Virginia

he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.

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(802): View more from Vermont

think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....

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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone

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(315): View more from New York

You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests

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