yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
