i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
