Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He felt like a one man threesome
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
BRING THE BAGELS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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