drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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