WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You are a genius and a whore.
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