grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
