you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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