i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
