My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
