She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
