I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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