Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
