There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
