Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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