I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Found your dick twin last night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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