you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
