You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
