Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
