I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
