watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
