i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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